sparkly water review: perrier cucumber and a hint of lime
Nothing but props to Perrier. They’re the Old Guard of unsweetened carbonated beverages; they were one of the first, they are one of the best. They get a lot right, and they keep on trying.
Perrier Cucumber and a hint of lime is…wrong. It’s like your uncle’s bad gas that lingers forever, somehow getting worse over time.
The first taste seems innocent enough, but then suddenly you’re drinking a salad. Images of dandelions and freshly-mown lawns seep into your mind. The taste intensifies. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. And then, I don’t know how they do this marvel of taste engineering, but about three seconds after you’ve swallowed your liquid bite of salad with no dressing, a fresh explosion of cucumber taste and aroma wafts through you, from the roof of your mouth to the base of your spine. You feel so fresh it hurts; it’s an offensive kind of freshness.
I know that cucumber has some uses beyond salad and combat; but “fresh as a cucumber” isn’t a thing. And Perrier seems to be trying to make it a thing. And it shouldn’t be a thing. Please, Perrier, stop this. You do so many things right, but not this. Reconsider your goals, I implore you.