This is the first whack at an opener from my next story/essay/reflection on lying. It’s part of a collection that is intended to be read aloud as well, so verbal flow is just as important as the textual.

The fwoosh of a model rocket engine is a sound you don’t usually expect to hear indoors. It is both unmistakable and immediate. There is no way you can hear it in your house and think, “Oh. A rocket engine. I should remember to have a closer look at that sometime. And I think we’re out of eggs.” Not likely.

I think the content and tone are about right, but the flow isn’t quite there yet. I’ll read this aloud several times and hack into it once I feel the parts that sound rough. I’m already not crazy about the second sentence. But after enough iterations, I’ll give the whole piece to my wife, Liza, who has a good eye for bigger-picture issues as well as the small stuff. But in the meantime, this is my reminder and my mantra, to keep writing and edit when it makes sense to.


Name o' Penfold. Just Penfold. A full-time husband, dad, programmer, and nerd, trying to add "writer" to the list.

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