This is the first whack at an opener from my next story/essay/reflection on lying. It’s part of a collection that is intended to be read aloud as well, so verbal flow is just as important as the textual.
The fwoosh of a model rocket engine is a sound you don’t usually expect to hear indoors. It is both unmistakable and immediate. There is no way you can hear it in your house and think, “Oh. A rocket engine. I should remember to have a closer look at that sometime. And I think we’re out of eggs.” Not likely.
I think the content and tone are about right, but the flow isn’t quite there yet. I’ll read this aloud several times and hack into it once I feel the parts that sound rough. I’m already not crazy about the second sentence. But after enough iterations, I’ll give the whole piece to my wife, Liza, who has a good eye for bigger-picture issues as well as the small stuff. But in the meantime, this is my reminder and my mantra, to keep writing and edit when it makes sense to.